CHANCES ARE if you enjoy reading poetry, you’ll believe you understand how to write it. Chances are if you try writing it, you’ll realize you have no idea what you’re doing.
Chances are if you respect yourself, as well as others, you’ll hide it in the desk drawer.
That’s the reason I stopped writing haiku last September. That’s the reason you’re not reading the poem I’ve been sweating over the past two days.
That’s the reason I will be sticking to prose.
All kidding aside, though, I’ve been busy during my three-month hiatus. I found a new computer that I call HAL-2010, a not-so-good replacement for my long-lost love, HAL. Unfortunately HAL-2010 also had serious issues although they had nothing to do with his hardware. After months of struggle, though, he was finally straightened out last week by Harrison B. (a nice computer man with a glow-in-the-dark plate in his head).
So what else have I been up to? Well, I finished my latest book. Yes, really. It’s entitled Nonessential: The Expansion Paradox, and you can read the first page here. It’s in the design stages now and will be available for purchase in the next couple of months.
All right, so you’re wanting to know what my poem was about. Tell you what, I’ll let you read the last three lines if you promise not to laugh. I’ve laughed enough for the both of us.
The last three lines of my awful poem:
Bang bang from the hall
shooting at the iron clock
nailed upon the wall.
See? I told you it was bad.